Endless

Endless

I sat Resigned,
flicking through the remnants of my mind,
thumbing every page i had designed,
and for a moment i could forget,
leaving every artifice of regret,
on some distant lonely shore,
a pebbled wash, lapping, leaving me with less,
no more;

How do i leave behind a memory that hasn't even happened yet?
some token gesture of a future echo tinged with regret?

I spun a web,
and danced upon the silken spinneret's design,
allowing the sunshine to flash across its line,
splashed with forgotten dew drops it had caught,
salty issues,
the heartfelt tissues it had taught,
skilfully schooled in this art,
torn apart.

And for a while that future seemed to smile upon me as i absently forgot,
then you smiled at me across a sea, leaving me to suffer my half remembered lot.

I built a wall,
these towers seemed so stout and tall,
guardians to keep the fates without,
shattered now by a simple glance,
like some heated lance, searing into my heart,
ending all resistance from the start,
every block bursting from its place,
like some rational disgrace,
Love's new tool,
the fool.

Where can i even breathe again, without this longing overwhelming me,
feeding an ache so deep, its timeless quake shall never set me free.

I died today,
and though i parted from this world,
cascading into places i was hurled,
this resonant destruction follows me,
always,in all ways,
to meet me in another dawn's release,
an endless torment that does not cease,
some divine mystery,
will it ever let me be.

Why could we not have met, was it so calamitous a wish?
and now im left the hunger,with no food upon that dish.
a starving soul, left only the ache,
an endless longing,
in a bottomless hole.

© Richard Michael Parker 2009